Asking For Help
GUIDE TO HOW TO ASK FOR HELP
Asking for help is hard. I have written this to help those who are fiercefully independent like me, stubborn (ok, me too), tolerant (aha) to go gentler on themselves and become part of a new system of collaboration is good.
Remember it’s ok to ask but don’t be invested in the outcome as it’s the other person’s right to express what’s right for them. If this happens
Ask them if they know anyone else that could help you. Better still
Tell them that you are struggling with something and could they help you problem solve it. They might empower you with ideas that you had not thought of yourself. They are also likely to offer you help with what you need. Be mindful to do this from your heart rather than manipulation. By this I mean that you are open to hear what they have to say rather than pin your hopes that they may sort something out for you.
Give notice. You are putting yourself in a more vulnerable position when you need help at short notice. People are busy.
Give people options when asking. I.e. ‘When would be good time for you?’
Announce to people in advance that you are practising asking for help and could they support you with it. Role play it perhaps. You’d be surprised how this is likely to open their hearts in sharing their own vulnerabilities.
In asking don’t undermine yourself by ‘I am sorry to bother you’, …. use ‘I need to ask you something. When is it a good time? It will take …’
As for the help you need - be specific what help is that you need. Don’t add other stuff to it when people are helping. It can feel like being taken advantage and will put others off helping you again if this takes much longer of their time.
Please note! None of these are rules but observations and notes of what’s come up and been helpful for me and those that I have worked with around this issue
Remember we all love to give. By receiving we enable giving. It’s all part of balance.
Is there anything you think I should add to above? Let me know by dropping me a line.