Mother Wound
I feel very honoured to be a mum. I have two beautiful sons, now 20 and 18 years old. Like many mothers, I have been very challenged in mothering them, especially when they were little and I had little support.
Yesterday we met for a walk. We walked and we talked. We also grieved as I brought up the subject of my struggles as a Mother and the impact that this has had on them, on us. We allowed our love to flow and heal, but ultimately this has, and is going to be, a piece of work to continue to attend to in order to heal, for us both individually and as a family.
‘Mother wound’ is personal as well as collective pain that we all carry. It refers to wounding caused by our mother’s absence, grief, anger, rage. It refers to the lack of love and safety that our mothers could not give us and which we cannot give, reliably, to our children. Mother's wound has foundations in a toxic, harmful and oppressive patriarchal environment that we have created for ourselves.
We may experience Mother Wound as blaming, shaming, rejection, criticism, exclusion, abandonment, neglect, disapproval, denial, envy etc. and it has a profound effect on aspects of our lives.
It affects how we perceive and relate to ourselves, our children and others.
It affects our relationship with our bodies, it affects our eating habits.
It affects our fertility, it affects our creativity.
It affects how we love, how we don’t love.
It affects the position that we take up, or not, in the world.
When left unresolved it gets passed on to the next generation.
Mother wound can be healed
Most of you are doing some work to heal in one way or the other. Some of you did this together with me last year in our Women’s group. Those working with me individually experience attending to that vulnerable, wounded self alongside identifying ways to adopt more empowered and balanced practices and ways of being. We use homeopathy to help us along.
Healing with Homeopathy
There are numerous homeopathic remedies that support us in this work and I share some, in an abbreviated form, below. I focus on their mental picture, yet they all have physical issues such as hormonal imbalances, migraines as well as fertility issues, eating disorders etc. Using these allows us to heal on a deeper subconscious level. And faster.
Lac caninum
It is made from the milk of the dog’s bitch. When we consider how we train/ed the wolf into a domesticated dog, making it dependent on food, care and affection we can appreciate how in humans needing remedy qualities of subservience and need to please just to have the basic needs met. People needing this remedy struggle to relate to other humans and may choose to not have children but focus on being with those that understand them most - animals, especially dogs. Lac caninum experience is that of deep shame, disgust, low self worth and self contempt. This may derive from issues of being an outcast from their family, community, have a disability or an impairment that was shamed. David Lilley gives a fuller picture here.
Natrum muriaticum (Nat mur)
It’s main feeling is that they will be let down, betrayed or disappointed by the person that they trust most. This state may result from loss of loved one/s through death or break up in a relationship. It’s a silent grief remedy, so the person is in ‘mourning’ and as such not able to be present for those around them. They are sensitive and easily hurt. They avoid talking about their problems as they don’t like being comforted or consoled. They are kept awake ruminating and holding grudges for a long time. They can become malicious and hateful.
Depression, melancholia, irritability, and crossness are common. They may weep when alone, but often the tears dry up. Nat mur remedy is made from sea salt. Sea = Mer (meaning mother in French) and we see great bond or/and conflict in relation to mother in particular.
Sepia
People needing this remedy experience lack of attachment and inability to feel love. There is an aversion to family members. Hardness, irritability and easily angered come with sarcastic, cutting comments. Feelings of guilt and remorse follow closely. They want to be left alone.
Sepia feels better for being busy, vigorous activity such as exercise or dance. Mothers often prefer work outside the home. Symptoms worse before, during, and after menstruation.
Anacardium
There are two oppositional sides in Anacardium, also referred to, devil on one shoulder, angel on the other:
Unfeeling, heartless, malicious, cruel, hateful, godless, and cursing.
Helpless, pleading, hopeless with a feeling of worthlessness.
Sankaran explains how this state may be created by overpowering parents who don't allow the child to think or do anything on her own. If she disobeys, she gets punished. To avoid this she becomes obedient yet the pent up oppression may give rise to cruelty, malice and antisocial behaviour.
Lac Maternum
It’s made from breast milk and one worth looking up.
This article describes beautifully the essence of this important remedy.
Nat mur and Sepia have been my go to remedies. There are a lot of things that I now do differently with my sons. I guess I have become a better parent when I stop(ped) and listen(end), when I don’t have to ‘know’ what is ‘best’ for them.
As we heal our Mother Wound we heal our past and we heal our future. We heal personal and collective pain as we challenge and influence the societal patterns of patriarchal oppression and make this world a better place not just for humanity, but for the Earth as well, as we come to rely less on material things to feel fulfilled, content, complete.
My invitation to you:
What is one thing that you can do for yourself consistently that will help you heal your Mother Wound?
If you are interested in working with me follow the link below.